changing the world- one girl at a time

My friend, Amber, sent me the following email with a link to an interesting article:
"This was so profound to me. I will here forward be asking Grace questions about books and current events when I see her." xo, A


It has inspired me enough to blog about it and take the pledge....

I highly recommend you read the GREAT article How to Talk to Little Girls by Lisa Bloom, which encourages adults to ask little girls about ideas and books, instead of complimenting their looks. "Teaching girls that their appearance is the first thing you notice tells them that looks are more important than anything," says Bloom. 


(It's crazy how true this is if you think about it. I admit, I think it's natural to compliment a little girl (or her parent) on how adorable she is, her big beautiful eyes, contagious smile, gorgeous outfit, and so on...)


"Clothes or hair or bodies...it's surprising how hard it is to stay away from those topics with little girls, but I'm stubborn," Bloom writes. "Try this the next time you meet a little girl [ask her what she's reading]. She may be surprised and unsure at first, because few ask her about her mind, but be patient and stick with it...Model for her what a thinking woman says and does."


I tried this out tonight with an adorable 9 year-old. She had beautiful blond hair, a big smile and her outfit was so darn cute. Instead of complimenting her, which I have to admit I'm a little paranoid about how often I have done this in the past, I literally asked her what the last book was she read. She thought about it and said, "the American Girl magazine. I really like the pictures." We ended up having a conversation about how she loves taking pictures, particularly the side view of objects. She grabbed her parent's DSLR camera and showed me her favorite picture she has taken so far on her holiday (holiday=vacation here in London). I complimented her picture and told her specifically what I liked about it (a teaching technique) and asked her to show me another picture she was proud of. This discussion turned into how she's continuing her holiday to Paris tomorrow and she's excited to take really cool pictures of the Eiffel Tower. I told her how, Amber, our mutual friend, took cool pictures of the Eiffel Tower while she was there and suggested they swap their favorite pictures via email to see each other's perspective. I'm curious to see if they do this and hope I can check out both pictures. What an idea to travel to a country with your big kid camera and later compare your perspective of the same thing with a 9-year old? I know I'm a dorky teacher at heart, but it doesn't get much cooler than that.

What enlightening advice from Lisa Bloom's to have real conversations with little girls (and boys!). Can you imagine the possibilities, teachable moments, and random influences that can be had with kids everywhere! This concept definitely fulfills my passion to talk to complete strangers who are willing to listen to me. Hopefully, I don't become the creepy mummy who tries to have meaningful conversations with the little kids at the park. Who cares...you know this is going to be me. :) Students and parents have complimented me in the past for talking to their child as "an adult" instead of talking down to them. It's amazing how excited they are to share their thoughts and opinions with you when you take the time to just talk to them. It was something I felt was important to do as a teacher, especially being a teacher of kids with special needs. I just never knew the depth behind it or the potential affect. 


The stats behind Lisa Bloom's article are unsettling and thought provoking. "15-18% of girls under 12 now wear mascara, eyeliner, and lipstick regularly; eating disorders are up and self-esteem is down; and 25% of American woman would rather win Next Top Model than the Nobel Peace Prize."


Now it's your turn. Just try it...[what book are you reading? How do you feel about summer coming to an end? What are you most/least excited about school starting in a couple of weeks? Who's your best friend? Why is he/she your best friend? Where do you like you'll live when you're your parents' age? What is the last dream you remember having? Do you want to go to college? What do you want to be when you grow up? What is your favorite vacation/holiday you have taken with your family? Can you share a picture you took that you are proud to show off?] Who is the last girl you had a conversation with and what was it about? Was she your daughter, niece, cousin, neighbor, family friend, student, patient, or maybe a complete stranger?  


Will you take the pledge? Please share your story(ies) with me if you're stubborn enough like Lisa Bloom, and now me, to initiate intelligent conversations with little girls (and don't forget about the boys) instead of complimenting their good looks. 


This topic is currently consuming my mind. I literally couldn't turn off my brain last night while sitting in bed. Katie, I was thinking of you because I was up past 1 AM. I have two new books added to my must read list. Can you tell I'm excited to feed my brain something other than the daily conversations between my 7.5 month old daughter and me?


Good luck changing the world- one girl at a time!


*Thanks, Amber for feeding my brain today.

How to Talk to Girls, original article by: Lisa Bloom
A Cup of Jo, the blog post Amber sent me
Think: Straight Talk for Women to Stay Smart in a Dumbed Down World, title of the book